Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Of Rings and other stuff

Wokay, so we got our English Paper 1 Section 1 papers back. Got a 23/30 for this:


Looking at the young man named Digshen Neri, one might think that he was an intelligent, studious but antisocial introvert. He donned thick-framed spectacles with lenses that were two centimetres thick and had curly black hair covering his forehead like creepers on the walls of an old French cathedral. Digshen was far from a pussilanimous, nerdy soul. He looked like that not because of endless hours spent studying, but instead, endless hours spent doing things related to the epic trilogy, "Lord of the Rings".

He read the books, watched the movies and spent a small fortune buying collectibles, like sword replicas, detailed metal armour and, his most treasured and preciousssss one of all, the ring of the evil lord, Sauron. He was obsessed.

Digshen's best friend was loyal, trustworthy, kind and friendly, much like the protagonist of his beloved trilogy, Frodo. The friend was one of a kind, and he went by the name of Azri. Azri had helped Digshen on many of his quests for collectibles. He also helped Digshen meet the love of his life.

To Digshen, Susan was like an angel. She had flawless, fair skin, captivating green eyes, which were actually contact lenses, and a figure that every man dreamed to caress straight, black hair. Others just thought that Susan looked like Arwen from the "Lord of the Rings" movie.

The first time Digshen saw her was on a poster advertising either a fashion magazine or the perfect island getaway. He did not bother checking. The poster depicted an image of Susan looking at the viewer against a stunning background of an island at sunset, with streaks of pink, purple and orange against a canvas of blue which was the sky. It was love at first sight.

That night, he called Azri and told him everything about the poster.

"What? You fell in love?" Azri asked, seeming rather surprised. Then, jokingly, he added, "You fell in love and it wasn't with Gollum?"

Digshen frowned at the snide remark, but then asked Azri to help him to get to know her.

He did. Surprisingly, and almost fatefully, Susan was Azri's neighbour. He introduced her to Digshen. The two of them went out together for a few weeks. At first, Susan was reluctant but then she saw the sweet, caring and devoted side to digshen. Digshen refrained from mentioning anything about his obsession, but after a few months, he decided that he should tell her.

He brought her to his lush Victorian mansion one night and told her that he wanted to show her his "treasure". By the way Digshen put it, Susan was aroused nervousbut her love for him told her that he would not do anything bad to her.

As he showed her his collection, he told her about the trilogy, and how he protected his precioussss ring in a ten-door titanium safe.

Digshen led her to the darkest corner of the room, and Susan began to get excited. He saw the flare in her eyes and was reminded of Sauron's fiery eye. He shuddered and pushed away the thought into the recesses of his love-shrouded mind.

He reached towards her pelvis and extracted a titanium shelf from an unnoticed shelf behind her. He never took the ring out before, but decided that it was worth risking rusting and scratching if it was for Susan.

The safe had ten doors, and after opening the final door, he took out a perfect replica of the sacred ring of Sauron. Susan saw the intricate Elven words engraved on the gold ring. Digshen held his prized possession in front of Susan's emerald eyes, which seemed to glimmer with the soft, golden light that the ring seemed to emanate.

"Will you marry me?" he said as he slid the cold metal ring onto her slender finger. He had performed the greatest sin a collector could do by taking the ring out of its metal home. His devotion to her was undeniable.

There was a long pause, and then Susan said, "Yes."
They got divorced a week after their marriage because Digshen wanted the ring back.


Gah, I got a lot of "exp", "pp" and "ww" errors, but personally I think the teacher just doesn't get the sarcasm inside the passage. Oh, well.


On other news, I'm pretty neutral about truncated lessons, sometimes dreading the lessons and sometimes wishing they could carry on for a longer time (pfffyeah right).


On otherer news, my gamerscore is 905 (I beat Daniel, who has XBL, which I don't have).

Only people who play Bioshock or know some details about it will get what I'm going to say.

Love me. Would you kindly?


Your favourite genetically modified shooter,

Posted by Az at 6:31 PM


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