To my knowledge, humans are given the divine power of free will; that allows them to make decisions.
Decisions which essentially boils down to two categories: Good and Evil.
It seems God gave us this ability to choose as a test; to see if we would make the right choice, which would then be rewarded with heaven, and hell for the opposite.
What got me thinking is that this seems a lot like one giant experiment.
An experiment to see if humanity would make wise choices or follow their crude animal nature. But then there would be a problem. Since God is omnipotent and knows what's gonna happen, then surely He'd know what's gonna happen next and what choices His creations are gonna make (Even if He's not the one choosing for you). Which then goes to prove that...
Redundant experiment is redundant.
I'm not trying to disprove the existence of God. I'm merely remarking on some stuff that has flowed into my head at random moments.
Pretty normal if someone says the end in mind is 'A' Levels, 'O' Levels or even a Math problem. Then they begin with the goal of doing well and getting a good end.
For me, however, the end would be death.
So for me, I begin with death in mind. Like how some would want to complete their 'A' Levels with no regrets and do well, I want to be able to die knowing I've lived a full life, have no regrets, and the only reason I'd feel sad is because of my love and love for life.
That is the end I want to work towards.
However that doesn't necessarily mean I'll go through my life without a plan and just live by the day.
I hope to go through life and the ups and downs and later on find that those bumps on the road added to the whole experience of life.
Also, for those who think that this is stupid and that I should focus on 'A' Levels first, I don't blame you. I too know that I should be focused on it. And I hope to do that.
I just won't sell my soul to an examination. I'll enjoy the whole experience of 'A' Levels.
Anyway, I came up with a quote a few days ago and I think it can relate to this topic.
"Those who desire only the end result should be happy to die at birth." - Azri Alwi, 2010
As we all know, there are many paths to take in life.
Not sure if anyone else is like this, but I feel like I can't settle for just one. I wanna experience every path, come up with my own and see all the possibilities. This is probably why I don't specialise in much anything specific; I'm busy trying to stretch myself over any activity that I like.
I kinda wish I can take one route in life and after that get born again in another 1992 (or maybe even other years, because that would mean a different path taken with different people met) and live life again.
It's like I want to explore life in every aspect. I wanna learn about nature, people, even the things we take for granted like photocopy and washing machines. There's too much to squeeze in a normal lifespan.
Which is sad, really. I really want to be able to understand the universe more.
Which probably brings back to me wanting to be God (Or a God). I don't mean this in a blasphemous manner; I just want to have an immense understanding of the universe (And control of it would be nice too. I suspect I'd make one helluva troll of a God).
Buuuuuut that's really unrealistic, so in the meantime, I'm not sure if I should commit to a few certain dishes in the cosmic buffet of the universe or sample everything.
In seven hours, we'll be back in school and for some of us, the ten-month-long sprint begins.
Part of me wants to grab 2010 by the balls, while part of me is all lazy and doesn't wanna face school (after looking at the timetable).
So much for doing A Levels year in Dante Azri Must Die mode, by the way. I was told that if I wanna continue dance, I'll have to join officially. Which would be no problem if practices weren't on the same day as Choir.
I think I'll have to stick with Choir, though. I have a responsibility there and the scholarship I'm aiming for requires 'excellent CCA records' and quitting after just a year of service is nowhere near 'excellent'.
Damn. Still hope I get to join em whenever I can though.
DISCLAIMER: This is just my opinion. I'm not forcing it onto others.
I'm not gonna preach to anyone because I know just as much about God as you do: Nothing. We can only think we know. Isn't that why there are so many faiths and not just one?
My very personal belief is that these differences are what makes humanity beautiful. If we all practised the exact same religion, it would be like a song with just one note. Even within a religion, there are multiple interpretations, so in a way, it's like a song that plays with a blend of chords.
However, I personally feel that imposing one's belief system to another is just wrong. It shows hypocrisy, disrespect and a lack of understanding. Even if it's not in war, people who preach and tell you to follow rules blindly get on my nerves. And I feel every religion has a percentage who do that. Looking down on the 'unbelievers' and think them scum unworthy of the gift of life.
What I feel is a better and more peaceful option is to talk about it; Between faiths and with an open mind. Without preaching, of course.
Think about it. Here's an example. There is a man who practises his faith diligently by-the-book and just stays at home doing that for the rest of his life. Then there is another man who spends his days travelling the world, seeing first-hand the wonders and beauty of nature, the variety of cultures and getting a view of the world.
Who do you think can appreciate God (And His creations) more?
I'm not saying that religion is bad. I love religion.
I just don't like the way some practise it with a narrow mind and try to impose it upon others. The worst kind would be killing because of it. What God would want you to kill His children without giving them a chance to understand and accept Him?
My key idea here is understanding. I feel that the more you ask with genuine interest in finding more knowledge and broadening your horizons, the more you understand and can therefore feel the beauty of God.
However, I'm not saying that people who don't practise a religion are good. But neither am I saying they're bad. There are definitely a mix of good and bad people out there. But what is the force that should bind us together?
What entity can unite us and bring about peace?
I have no idea. But I strongly suspect that love, care, respect and an understanding of each other can help a great deal. With them, even the barriers of religion can create no war.
The year 2009 was a year full of new experiences, discoveries and lessons learnt and above all, GROWTH.
It began with the end of post O-Levels period, which was totally awesome and what life should be like for everyone. What followed though, was great disappointment and grief. And then depression. The stars that were all yellow apparently didn't shine for me, and so I lived life in TPJC full of dread under the shadow of the unaccomplished goals of Victoria and Temasek.
Which turned out to be a good thing, actually.
If my appeal to TJC had been successful, I wouldn't have had the chance to take Art as a subject, which would leave me with the unimaginable prospect of taking another Arts subject (At which I would undoubtedly just fail). Other than subjects, though, I met some pretty awesome people. Fadhil and Hafiz to name just two of them.
I don't believe it to be fate, because if I did make it to VJC or TJC or (God forbid) MJC, I would be saying the same thing, except maybe names apart from Fadhil and Hafiz. But I did what all of nature would do: Adapt and then evolve.
I still miss TK, and I often wonder what life in VJC would've been like, but I won't leave my current lot in life for it. Again, because I've adapted to TPJC and love my friends there.
Perhaps somewhere in this multiverse there's another (Or perhaps more than one) Azri in a parallel reality who did awesomely for his O's and managed to get into VJC. I'm happy for him and would like to meet him one day. And be friends with him.
I'm pretty dang grateful I ended up here instead of TJC or MJC (No offence to the former).
Also, if I met my past self, I'd just do one thing to that emo bastard. Slap him in the face, and show him the heartfelt blogpost he wrote before getting his O-Levels results in which he said "But I am, from the bottom of my heart, really happy and grateful that everything happened the way it did."
And then I'd laugh in his face and say "NOT SO HAPPY NOW, AREN'T YA?"
Not because I have anything against that guy. I'm just a gigantic bastard that way. My kids will be the unluckiest kids ever, for having such a bastard dad (That is, if anyone could love someone with such an evil sense of humour).
* IN OTHER NEWS.
Ima take this year on by the balls.
That essentially means being awesome while doing awesomely in studies; with four CCAs (Did I use the semicolon right?).
Those four CCAs being Choir, Rock Climbing, Art (I regard it as co-curricular and awesome) and Dance. Dance is awesome, as are the other three, but I only discovered this recently.
Four CCAs + A-Levels year = DANTE AZRI MUST DIE mode
Obviously, this calls for a whole lot more discipline than I'm summoning right now. And so, I will have to motivate myself continuously throughout the year and spend (A whole lot) less time on my dearest laptop. Which would be good practice too, since I usually just stone and find stupid things to fill my mind with.
Just to add to the challenge of the coming year, I'll try get me a girlfriend.
So speaking of stupid things, have you seen this video that they showed us TPJCians at the start of the year?
They don't allow embedding, so it's here. Notice all the fail in it.
Then watch the wonderful parody made by Shaun of Politically Incorrect Studios Singapore (PISS).
Note that I was supposed to parody the politically correct girl with the fake accent.
So...yeah. Feels good to be blogging again. Seeya when I decide to come back!
AND HELLO 2010!
Your favourite beatboxing ambigrammist (I should change this), Az