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Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Mixed feelings

'Tis odd.

Today at TPJC I felt that I didn't mind staying there, that it wasn't so bad and stuff.

But when I'm at home and think about TJC and/or VJC, I feel a sense of longing. The best way to say it is that I just don't want it to be this way. I just don't (yes, very related to denial).

/sigh

So last night's bout of emoness and frustration was probably the death throes of my JC dreams. Unavoidable, but it passed and now that dream is more or less dead.

And I think I've come to accept it.

But gah, I just really didn't want it to be like this. I don't want to live in TJC's shadow through my JC life because I'll never blame the school for not accepting me and instead blame myself for not proving my worth to it.

Oh well, life throws shit at you.

Let's just hope that the little clique formed at that elevated round table thing stays. I think it'll help keep me sane.

Your favourite guy living in denial,
Az

Posted by Az at 8:23 PM

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Comments:
Comment: #1858483012261530522
Dear Azri,its not where u are.its who u wanna be.the elitist attitude will not get you anywhere.so pick urself up and constantly remind urself of ur goals.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 2 March 2009 at 11:43 PM
 
Comment: #5121002954278212479
Dear Azri,its not where u are.its who u wanna be.the elitist attitude will not get you anywhere.so pick urself up and constantly remind urself of ur goals.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 2 March 2009 at 11:43 PM
 
Comment: #3400714001956871897
Dear Azri,its not where u are.its who u wanna be.the elitist attitude will not get you anywhere.so pick urself up and constantly remind urself of ur goals.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 2 March 2009 at 11:43 PM
 
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