Saturday, 28 November 2009
Ruined day was ruined.
And among all that shit I realised that I'm actually quite the hypocrite. I'm here preaching to others about being themselves and not letting others' criticism bring you down.
And yet on a subconscious level I find myself to have little originality and instead seek approval from those whose opinions I care about. I've come to realise that when I enjoy a friendship and the other party has differing opinions, I try to twist and turn my own such that they fit the others.
And the thought that I'm not my own person, or that the person I am is not someone I want to be yet enjoy being is quite heavy.
For me, at least. Individuality is something important to me, and the gravity of finding that I haven't been my own man is kinda like reality as I knew it collapsing.
Missing identity is missing. Fuck.
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Posted by Az at 1:08 AM